About a Blogger Who Remembered How to Laugh

About a Blogger Who Remembered How to Laugh

I quit Facebook and the world didn’t end

I don’t really know how else to sugar coat that subject line but the simple fact is, I quit Facebook and the world didn’t end.

My social life didn’t come to a screeching halt.

My friends didn’t forget I existed.

People still took photos of, and with, me even though I am kind of embarrassing to be around and they can’t tag me in them!!!!

Vince and Tim are PROUD to be in a photo with me humping a pinata!
Vince and Tim are PROUD to be in a photo with me humping a pinata!

For real though….

I deleted my profile for much the same reason I changed domain names and moved my blog – I needed to separate from the 2014 version of myself and start afresh. In fact, I’d been craving to leave that particular social network for months and finally, the day after my Daddy’s funeral, I just did it.

I’m writing this one-month Facebook-free and here’s some things I’ve learned:

  • My relationship with Facebook had become obsessive and compulsive. Seriously, and this is embarrassing to say, but I was checking Facebook first thing in the morning, while at traffic lights, in the middle of the work day, when I got home, and all throughout the evening. It was ridiculous and really unhealthy.
  • Looking at everyone’s happy life updates made my sad life updates feel even worse. Trust me, no one knew better than me how completely depressing and unattractive my Facebook status updates had become in 2014.  But adding, or even just thinking about sharing, those sad updates into a feed full of birth and wedding announcements, party pics, concert and live music invitations, and general good times made me feel like a leper.  It SUCKS to realize you’re the unintentional Debbie Downer in the room.
  • I felt like I had to censor my happy updates from Daddy and Mia’s friends. I made a LOT of friends with my parents’ friends due to circumstances last year and that was good! But they’re all from a different generation and on the rare occasion that I wanted to post something silly or ridiculous or not-sad, I felt guilty for doing so. It was a hard balance to strike – being a sad, Daddyless daughter pulling her family through hard times while also being trying to remember the silly, music-loving, friend-hugging, drink-drinking 30 year old I was before everything happened.
  • I’m friends with way too many people who I do not really know or care about IRL. This sounds harsh but it’s true. I don’t need to be friends with people I met once at a party, are friends of friends, or people who talked shit about me in high school and I never saw since. I feel really bad about this because some of them posted supportive comments when Daddy died, but at the end of the day I haven’t seen these people IRL in over a decade, if not longer. Yet I find myself censoring my words and my life because of what they’ll see and/or think.
  • Catching people in lies via Facebook SUCKS. Period. When someone told me they couldn’t afford the tank of gas it would take to come to my Dad’s funeral and then they checked in at a restaurant in South Beach getting Tapas later that night on Swam/Facebook, it pretty much crushed my heart.  Or when my dumbass stepbrother posts photos of himself partying in a limo on his way back down to the Keys after telling us how broke and sad he is from the last visit to his mom. Ignorance is bliss, and I did NOT need that shit.
  • People I work with started friend requesting me. And there is just no part of being Facebook-friends with work-friends that is going to work out for me.

But with all of that said, I do miss some things on Facebook. Like being able to look back at the photos and interaction I had with my Dad, or posting inspirational and funny messages on Mia’s wall, or seeing what my real friends are really up to lately.

So will I reactivate my profile? Yes. I know I will. I might even do it after writing this post.

But much like my new blog, I will whittle down friends, contacts, photos and groups until it’s a fresh start and *means* something to me again.

Because quitting Facebook might not have made the world end, but I have a feeling that reactivating it in a new and meaningful way might make MY world a better, more emotionally healthy place.

6 thoughts on “I quit Facebook and the world didn’t end”

  • I went on a FB unfriendathon last year and it was delightful. I also do not accept friendships from people I don’t know or work people I don’t want to see my personal stuff. I also turned off the notifications on my phone and made it so only I could post on my timeline. So I’m feelin’ ya with the FB thing.

    I have also been thinking of renaming my blog. But I am not blog savy like you are where you changed your URL but kept your email subscribers. Are you some sort of blog ninja genius?

  • Dude I literally trimmed out 105 people last night. I might have made some rash calls on a few, but I just needed to purge. It was gooooood.

    Blog Ninja Genius? No. Feedburner, Host Gator, and WordPress Goddess? Maaaaaaybe.

    What did you have in mind? Email me if you need help! firstname.lastname at gmail.com. 🙂

  • THIS!!! I’m kind of in the same boat right now. I didn’t delete my facebook page, but I have taken a serious step back. Certain events really opened my eyes and I have cut out all of the toxic, dead weight in my life. It feels good to focus on what really matters and step away from the unnecessary crap.

    P.S. I miss you!! <3

  • I miss you too!! It’s been a strange month and as bitter as Facebook made me, it was so clutch for helping me diminish the distance between our long distance friends. I’m back on but I turned off all notifications and I’m the only one who can post on my wall now. Blogging and emailing and texting and Instagramming though!!! 🙂

  • I feel a good FB trim is in my near future too. Aaron and I end up rehashing the same pop culture news when we get home that I’ve already read several times during the day. I have miss seeing what you are up too though so when you come back I hope I make the cut 😉

  • Woman please. I would make a completely separate Facebook account JUST to be your friend if it came down to me never reappearing.

    I’m back now, and down to a mere 93 friends! My feed feels so much better and I actually have enjoyed scrolling through it a couple of times since my account reactivated. Totally novel feeling!!

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