Yeah so, as the title of this post would suggest, I’ve been meditating and I think it might, kinda, maybe, actually work.
My therapist suggested I meditate back in January of this year and I thought “okay whatever.” It wasn’t that I didn’t take her recommendation seriously, but rather how the hell was I supposed to find the time to zone out? If I could squeeze meditating in during my commute, great! But somehow that didn’t seem like a good fit.
So I decided to start by making a meditation space in my front room with incense, our singing bowl, and my hoop in the front room on my camphor chest. Then I found some Tibetan chanting on Google Play Music and started breathing and thinking…
And I did that a grand total of 4 times.
The thoughts were good. I was definitely able to zone out and get into a meditative state which, for me, is that feeling you get at the end of a massage, before you have to get off the table, when you just kind of hum from the inside out.
Sadly it was really hard to get that hum-feeling and I kinda gave up.
But for whatever reason, I started researching apps and ended up buying a guided meditation app called Buddify. I *loved* the interface of a wheel and I really love the diverse array of guided meditations. I thought “if anything is going to help me do this, it will be this app.”
And it DID.
My first guided meditation was in the bathtub and I loved it. The next was when I had insomnia. Then I did one when I woke up. I picked a 4min one to listen to at work before presenting. Literally every time I “Buddified” I felt better. I can’t say I always “hummed” after each one, but I was really digging the breathing and breaks from life.
I’ve grown to really love this app. Which is why, when I saw it as a suggested Pin on Pinterest, I clicked it and dug into similar Pins… which is how I found Mala Beads and mantras.
Somehow I ended up on a blog describing Mala Beads, how to use them, and what stones align with what chakras.
The next thing I knew I had decided I wanted to focus on my crown and heart chakra and I definitely wanted an English mantra – something to repeat (dare I say, “chant?”) 108 times.
That’s when I landed on the Mala above, with its African Opal Jasper and Rose Quartz stones, and a mantra that resonates *so* much with where I am right now in life:
I am at peace with what was, what is, and what will be. I forgive you, I forgive me.
Having a mantra and Mala beads meant I didn’t need Buddify… instead I use my Mala beads anywhere I need a reminder to stop, breathe, be at peace, and forgive (usually, myself).
But the majority of my mantra and Mala bead meditation comes in bed, just as I’m trying to fall asleep.
That’s not how you’re “supposed” to meditate (you should focus on good posture, listen to your breathing, feel the ground beneath you…) but now that I’ve been meditating in this way for a few weeks, I can say with 100% confidence that I don’t think there’s a “wrong” way to meditate.
I think, regardless of HOW you meditate, just the sheer act of stopping activity, dropping electronics, and repeating a positive and life affirming phrase 108 times makes an impact on a subconcious – and totally conscious – level.
Even if you fall asleep before making it all the way to 108….
I don’t know how to describe it but since I started meditating – first with Buddify, which I still use (the airplane meditation is worth its weight in gold), and then with Mala – I have found I have so much more patience with myself and others.
I’m kinder. I’m more understanding. I’m more compassionate.
I just feel quieter and more at peace.
Next I’d like to work up the nerve to go to an actual meditation class, whether it’s Kundalini yoga (which I am super intimidated by) or pranic healing class (also super intimidated by) and see if I can get the true hum going.
In the meantime, if anyone has any tips for meditating – apps, classes, locations, breathing techniques, whatever – let me have them.
Because this works, and I am starting to love it!