About a Blogger Who Remembered How to Laugh

About a Blogger Who Remembered How to Laugh

I got my first tattoo!

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Daddy’s signature from the last birthday card he sent me.

Alright if we’re friends on Instagram or Facebook then you already know this tattoo happened, you’ve seen the photos, and you liked and commented – so I’ll cut to the chase:

  • It didn’t hurt! I would actually describe the process as ‘warm lines being drawn onto my skin.’ Only caveat: When she went back over the lines in the D and XO, I definitely thought ‘this is not the greatest feeling ever but it is bearable for a small amount of time.’
  • I love it even more than I thought I would! The more I look at it, the more I love it. I knew I would… but wow. Catching its reflection in the mirror and seeing it on my wrist when I talk with my hands = peace in my heart. I love it so much.
  • I was really, really ready for this.  The first time I tried to get this was 2 weeks after Daddy died – Cari got hers and I sobbed the whole time. The second time was my birthday last year – Mia took a nosedive that day and there was no way I could go through with it then.  This time – I was calm as a cucumber and perfectly serene. I was 100% mentally and physically ready.
  • Coldplay Trouble was playing while I got it. The lyrics to Trouble are really simple but hearing them while getting this tattoo was incredibly moving. It made me think of my youth and how, despite all the trouble I caused, Daddy always answered when I called – something I never got to thank him for. It also made me think of all we’ve been through since he died.  I *know* he hates that he’s caused me so much trouble and that his death has been such a burden. So this song playing while I got this tattoo? Epic.
  • I think my Dad is cool with it. I know it might seem weird to talk about him in present tense but I seriously get the feeling that my Dad is totally cool with this tattoo. I can hear him in my head saying “alright well if you had to get a tattoo, that’s a good one.” I actually get the feeling that he’s flattered which is not what I expected!
  • It made a bad day better. The 1 year was hard and I was really weepy. Getting this tattoo changed the whole narrative of my day and even the week for me, Cari, and Mia. I can’t think of anything else that could have had such a positive effect during this time.
  • Everything was *so* *right*. It was just me and Cari together for my tattoo, as we were when she got hers.  Our tattoos are on opposing wrists to perfectly compliment one another.  The same artist who did hers was the same one who did mine almost a year later. Basically, when I laid down in that chair my heart, soul, and body felt right. That confidence of knowing you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be in life – that’s something we spend every day seeking. As my therapist put it – “that’s the goods.”

And now: The ink is a few days old so I am keeping it lubed up, it kind of itches, everyone thinks it’s totally awesome, and I am already thinking about what I want to get next year. 🙂

So on that note, I’ll leave you with the music video for Trouble. Enjoy!



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